Prison Visits

What you will find on this page

Visiting a loved one in prison
What to take with you
Arriving for your visit
Physical contact & attitudes towards staff
Having a new born baby & Prison visits
The emotional impact of visits
Restorative Justice

Visiting a loved one in prison

Visit times

Visit times are different for different prisons, and remand and convicted visit entitlements are different. Some places do weekly one-hour visits, some do two hour visits twice a month for standard convicted prisoners.

If you want more visits your loved one will need to get their enhanced status ( this is given for good compliance and behaviour whilst serving time). This takes about 12 weeks from arrival and one of the main benefits to a family is you get extra visit time each month.

Booking your visit

Visits are different in different prisons so this is a general overview of what to expect. We suggest that you go onto the specific prison’s website and check their information.

You have to be approved for visits, you can’t just show up and expect to be let in. Your person will approve you for visits and then, as long as you are allowed to visit, you can arrange one.

There are two types of prison: Her Majesty’s Prisons (HMP), and private prisons.

HMP will usually allow you to book online. You will need your loved ones prison number and the dates of birth of the people visiting; you must all be approved to visit. The amount of people who can visit varies from prison to prison and depends on whether your loved one is convicted or remanded. As a general rule of thumb though you are allowed three adults and three under 18’s.

If you don’t want to arrange online you can usually call the booking line, but be prepared for maximum frustration with this. They are generally open only at specific times and it can take a long time, and many attempts, to get through.

The online method is without doubt the easiest; you pick a run of dates and they come back to you with a yes or no. You can book in advance and you will be shown available dates, plus you can book for more than one week at a time.

Private prisons are different in that the prisoner can book the visit for you on the computers that are on the landings, or you can email or call.

‘VOs’ is a phrase you will hear - a VO is a visiting order and these are pieces of paper a prisoner sends to you so you can book a visit, although they are not widely used due to the new booking systems that are available.

What should I wear for a prison visit?

Prison has rules on clothing not only for prisoners but also for visitors. Again, each prison is different and they generally have their policy on their website – you should be sure to check it as if you don’t have the correct clothes there is a strong chance you will get turned away, and there is nothing more heart wrenching than missing a visit.

To give you an idea ripped jeans, hooded tops, crop tops, off the shoulder, above the knee, shorts or low-cut tops can all be a no no. We cannot stress enough to check the website!

What to take with you

ID – you will need to take identification with you to be allowed in. The prison website will tell you what they accept, but usually a photo ID, such as passport or driving licence, and proof of address is needed. You also need ID for children – again, check what they require. If you are struggling, call them up, tell them what you have, and take the name of the person you are talking to. Many prisons have family support workers that are there to help.

Money – you are allowed to purchase food / drinks on your visit. Some places let you take cash, some you have to load onto a cashless system beforehand. The amount allowed differs so again check with the prison. Also be aware that some will only let you take notes and not coins.

Lockers – you cannot take items into the visit with you and your valuables are usually kept in a locker until your visit is over and you keep the locker key with you. We suggest you take a £1 coin with you.

Babies – you can’t usually take your change bag into a closed prison. You can take in a nappy, wipes, dummy, bottle and baby food (although this is up for debate as some won’t let you take certain items in). Prams and car seats are supplied so you either use theirs or carry the baby over. I have always been allowed to take a blanket in, but again check with the prison.

Medical – if you are diabetic or asthmatic you can take your vital equipment in, however they are usually kept with an officer who will bring to you when needed and return at the end of the visit.

Arriving for your visit

Give yourself plenty of time – the first time is nerve-racking and you will look like a fish out of water. Most prisons have a car park if you are driving, or drop off points for taxis
Each prison is different with their booking regime. If you are on a 6pm visit you should look to be there at 4.30pm to book in; it’s then a waiting game
Most prisons have a visitors’ centre where you can wait, staffed by people who are there to help you
Expect to queue up
Expect to show ID
Some prisons will take your fingerprint for future visits
You usually get issued with a number and are called over in turn to be searched.

Getting searched

Closed prisons will search you
You will get a pat down (female to female, male to male) and be required to walk through a metal detector (like at the airport)
You may have your hair searched, and /or have the inside of your mouth and the bottom of your feet looked at
You will generally put your valuables (watch / jewellery), your outerwear (coat if allowed or cardigan / jacket), money, keys and shoes in a box to go through the scanner
Once it’s been checked you put everything back on and go through; you may at this point get sniffed by the sniffer dog
If you have clothing related to your religious beliefs you will be searched in a more private setting by a gender appropriate officer.

If you are taking children they will be searched too, no matter what age they are.

The visits hall

You will either be directed to your table and wait for your loved one or they will already be sat at an allocated table waiting for you
If it is a closed visit you will be behind a screen and cannot touch each other. An officer will be close by. Closed visits are instructed for many reasons and can be quite difficult for you both
Depending on the capacity of the prison and how many people that are on the visit, the visits hall can be quite noisy.
Officers will be walking about throughout the hall for the duration of the visit
Visit halls have cameras in them and are watched by people that are out of sight
You can go to the toilet yourself, but expect to be searched again
You can buy food and snacks for everyone on your visit
Sometimes, dependent on the prison, you can buy sweet packs for your person to take back to the wing.

If you are taking children:

Most prisons have a provision that children can play and make things in and this can be a godsend if the boredom of sitting still for a while kicks in
You can change your baby if you need to, they have facilities
You can take older children to the toilet but expect to be quickly searched again.

Physical contact

Hugging is usually allowed on arrival and departure
Kissing is usually allowed on arrival and departure
Holding hands is usually ok
Adults cannot sit on each other’s knees
Each prison is different, these are general guides, you will become more familiar with what you can and can’t do the more you visit.

Attitude towards staff

Being respectful and courteous helps, there may be times when you need their help and building a good relationship helps this.

“It pays dividends to be respectful towards staff, all staff. If you are late for booking in and you need a favour, you usually find that the more respectful and friendly you are the more you get out of it. Because we have done fairly long sentences, I have gotten to know the staff on the visits and on his wing and they have always been helpful; if I’ve been worried about anything they have always had the time to try and help. I am absolutely convinced that my attitude towards staff helped immensely when I had to ask for an emergency visit, and I believe that they went above and beyond to facilitate it.”

Having a baby when your partner is in prison

My partner was recalled back to custody when I was 8 weeks pregnant and remained inside for the rest of my pregnancy and the birth. I won’t sit there and say it's easy, it's not. Your hormones are raging, you’re emotional, scared and alone, and it was a really tough time in my life.

There is no nice way through an experience that should be shared, so all you can do is try and make the best of a bad situation and, if you are not able to do that, then get as much support as is possible from whoever you can, it will help you both.

How you will feel - normal feelings that I experienced during this time were fear, anger, loneliness, anxiety, strength, exhaustion and fear. Each day was different and I never could predict how I would be feeling. Visits were exactly the same experience; I did feel that going helped me though and I know it kept him feeling involved.

Scans – these were not as bad as I built them up to be. I did go to them all by myself but that was by choice, he knew when they were and he arranged to call me as soon as I was out. I got extra copies of scan pictures and sent them to him.

The birth – in our case the birth was planned so we knew when I was going in and this helped, however during those last few weeks we were both nervous and he called lots, just to check what was happening. I think it’s important to remember that they feel helpless and they must be extremely nervous too at this point, we all know what it is like to sit and wait for news.

Visiting prison with a new-born baby

That first visit is a real rollercoaster, as you would probably expect. In my experience lots of people were watching us, and staff wanted to see the baby as did other visitors.

ID - you will need some ID for the baby, as crazy as that sounds and they will need to be approved on the visitors’ list as well, so make sure that they add them as soon as they can. The ‘red book’ that you get issued with at the hospital or by the midwife is all the ID you need for your baby.

Changing and breastfeeding - most prisons are well set up for babies visiting. The prisons I have visited have had a changing and breastfeeding area, however you won’t be able to go in together. If you are not sure, check with the prison beforehand, although usually you will have visited before and will get the chance to ask staff what you can and can’t do.

What you can take with you

Although it feels like you leave the house with everything you can’t take it all on a visit. Change bags were not allowed in our prison and you had to carry over the things you needed yourself. You were not allowed to take a pram or car seat, although they did have their own available to use.

Nappies, wipes, nappy bags, bottles, dummies, blankets and a change of clothes were all permitted with a newborn when I visited, however it’s always best to check beforehand.

Additional special visits

Each prison has its own privileges for its residents and one of them is extra visits, especially family visits. These are not just for people who have little children.

They can be for a much longer time than a normal visit - I have been on six-hour days - but your person needs to be behaving in custody to get them. As you can imagine, they are popular and spaces are limited so don’t expect to get on it first time, however get your person to find out what extras are available.

Some of the extras I have had are:

reading groups
parenting days for men with newborn babies
cook and eats - where I’ve been on the wing and he’s made us a meal
drama performances, and
feedback sessions after he’s done courses.

All of these have privileges that he has gained through good custodial behaviour, so it does pay to encourage them to keep their heads down and do their time without issues.

The emotional impact of visits

Visits are a huge part of your prison experience, they can lift you both and both of you usually look forward to them. However they can also be really hard emotionally, and it’s quite normal to see people getting upset on a visit. It’s quite normal for you, your children or your person to become upset.

Two of the biggest flash points for this are seeing them for the first time and saying goodbye for the first time. If you have kids prepare them as much as you can - I have lost count of the number of times I have witnessed kids crying after dads on visits, and it’s upsetting for anyone, including you and your kids, to see that.

Restorative Justice

If your family member or loved one takes responsibility for their actions, then Restorative
Justice (RJ) may be an option for them. Most prisoners don’t have much information about
RJ, nor do they even know what it is. RJ is a process of communication between them and
their victims and the aim of this is to try and repair the harm that has been caused by their
actions. If your loved one or relative does accept responsibility, then discussing RJ with them
may make their feelings about what they have done be less overbearing or it could have a positive impact on the way they view themselves and others. Professionals at our organisation may be able to help your loved one or relative get a positive outcome from RJ.

Remember, we are always here to help